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There are times I I feel like a stranger in this generation. Especially in work, church, and other social settings where others react to the southern manners my parents must have felt a high priority to instill in me. I have many memories of my dad being the enforcer of my always remembering and conducting myself from the “Southern Bible of Character and Manners”. No, I doubt there’s really a book like that and I just made up the book name.

I give my mother by far the greatest credit for the early forming of my core character, values, spirituality. She is an exemplary example of a sensitive heart that seems to have a special gift for recognizing pain and need in others, even when that person may be trying to hide them. I could not share the number of stories where mom has sensed a need in others and quietly met that need, at times fully anonymous. Oftentimes mom had to use money she had set aside for the already tight monthly family budget. I’ve always really admired mom and have tried to replicate these traits.

Dad was a good dad and I have a million stories of things we did together. As shared above, Dad definitely put the masculine boot (cough…I mean touch) to the southern manners expected of me.You might say they were well ingrained into me. I realized the unlikelihood of inheriting a fraction of dad’s talents and knowledge. It would sound quite exaggerated to share the innumerable things he invented and built from tiny to gigantic using every material and technology available. He was a master at building and fixing way beyond his time.

Throughout my teenage and early adult years, I connected with and spent more time with older men I admired than most of my age group. I had friends my age, of course, and we did a lot of cool and adventurous things together. We made our fair share of mistakes, learning life’s painful lessons along the way. I learned far more about who I wanted to be from the older generation than from my own less-wise knuckle-head buddies.

Even from my youth, among all the aspects of manhood I wanted to excel in, I wanted to be surrendered and obedient to God, and truly live a Christlike life.

I’ve had the good fortune to serve in a variety of ministry capacities throughout my life, starting with my work as a youth pastor at the age of 19. I’ll always remember the challenges of those early years, building upon the earlier resources of Sunday school lessons etc… In just two years, the youth group exploded from about 30 to over 100 youth ages 13 to 18. That first church position was a steep learning curve—I could tell stories about it for hours! I started speaking at youth events and revivals around that time, which meant traveling locally and a bit further. The miracles I saw remain mind-blowing: young people committing their lives to Christ, the outpouring of transformation, and witnessing the incredible support system they had within their own age group—it was truly awesome. In time, I was called to serve as pastor of a small country church, the memories of which I’ll always hold dear.

Today, many years later, my expressions of spiritual thoughts, things learned, and personal spiritual experiences are mostly found in my writing.

Returning to my original point. My spiritual experiences are deeply connected to the lives of the men I grew up admiring and wanted to emulate. In fact, they are the core examples I wrap everything that follows around.

I have already stated my admiration for past generations of men. I was so impressed by their lives that I try my best to preserve and share their legacy. The following is a brief overview, not an exhaustive list, of who these men were, what was important to them, and what’s important to true men today.

The Protectors

Men of great bravery were common among our ancestors. The ability to safeguard their families, property, and lifestyle came as instinctively as breathing. Generations of fathers had passed down their skills and knowledge to them. Conversely, the average person today is largely unfamiliar with these skills and areas of expertise. The protection of his loved ones rests primarily on the shoulders of local, state, and federal governments. Compared to the past, with its tales of Indian raids, robber gangs, and civil wars, we might appear safer today. A quick glance at the news on TV or internet, however, will show you that this is far from accurate. The fundamental difference between then and now lies in the types of dangers we face. The threats to our families are greater now than ever before, with adversaries possessing far more sophisticated ways to harm with technologies far greater than our forefathers could have ever thought possible. We need real men today that still see the need, will make the commitment, and seek every resource and opportunity to gain all they can to be ready and capable should the need arise to stand up and protect those they love and their property with all they have learned, practiced, and have at their disposal from such efforts.

The Providers

Our forefathers also took pride in being providers for their families and often worked long work days to ensure they were adequately provided for. Asking for help beyond their own means was rare. For the most part, requesting was not necessary among a band of brothers that knew you well and visited regularly. Did they ask for help? Of course, they did. However, there was one big difference that I don’t often see today. Men of yesterday had a code where help was shared both ways. If your neighbors and brothers came to your aid and helped you in a time of need, loaned you money or their tools, etc. You were truly grateful and most importantly, you remembered it. As soon as you learned that a neighbor or brother had a need, without thinking of how it would inconvenience you, you were there and gave them your all. With that code of honor in place, there was no need for local, state, and federal assistance funded by the hard-earned taxes regularly deducted from their wages and doled out to people they don’t even know. On the contrary, many people today seek out and qualify for any government assistance possible. They accept assistance from others with scanty to no thought of returning that help when they learn of another’s need. We need a generation of men who have the pride and resolve to provide for their families. They are willing to perform any work required, favorable or not that they are physically and mentally capable of. We need men willing to get up, get dressed, and report to work when they don’t feel well, didn’t sleep well, and the plethora of other excuses men use today to stay home, denying their employer the resources they needed and the money much required to provide for their family. Most importantly and ever so missing today we need men who are always looking for an opportunity to reach out and help another brother and his family. This is whether they know them personally or sometimes not at all. That is one of the greatest values of men and will bring blessings that so many men lack today!

Standing Firm in Beliefs and Values

Our ancestors upheld their beliefs and values while respecting the diversity of others. Peace prevailed as long as groups refrained from imposing their beliefs on others. They coexisted as valued friends and coworkers who even lived in communities together. To my knowledge, there are no narratives of them relinquishing the core beliefs this powerful country was built upon, beliefs defended by many, including their fathers. Lives were given to protect groups with differing backgrounds, beliefs, and values. Today we’re facing mounting pressure from certain newcomers to accept their foreign belief systems as our own. For generations, people have immigrated here primarily because of our welcoming and free society, where we respect our differences while focusing on shared values and goals.
To escape the tyranny of the English monarchy, my ancestors left England in the 1500s and immigrated to this country. My paternal grandfathers held prominent positions within Britain’s ruling class before the decision. Serving in King Henry VII’s final three parliaments, one grandfather even judged court cases for the king while he was absent. There were six generations of the title Sir Richard Sheffield given to my direct grandfathers. One of my grandfathers served as the chief architect of Buckingham Home, of which expanded to the palace we know today. Another lies buried above ground, alongside my grandmother, at the entrance to the Austin Friars Church in London. Despite unknown reasons, they left it all behind and arrived in the Americas during the 1500s.
The freedoms and new life in our nation came at a great cost, secured by the sacrifices of those who fought and died. So… while yes, we welcome others and understand that they are not always like us, we have poured a lot of blood to make this country what it is and we WILL NOT allow others to come here and defile it by trying to push another monarchy, ruling class, or foreign belief system on us. This is especially true when belief systems directly oppose the Judaeo-Christian values we hold so dear. I would have to say that the strongest intolerance to be when their culture supports perversions and disrespect to women and children. We will not force our Judaeo-Christian beliefs on anyone that legally makes this their home. However, we ask that they respect our laws, belief systems and not attempt to force us to give up our long-standing traditions and values to accommodate theirs above and superior to our own. For this reason, we need men like our forefathers willing to stand firm and defend!

Love and Respect the Ladies

One key area where I believe modern men are deficient is in their treatment of the women closest to them—their wives or girlfriends, generally. Little irritates me more than hearing men use disrespectful terms for their wives or girlfriends, such as “old lady” or “baby mama”. Disrespecting those who are deserving of our utmost respect is, unfortunately, all too common in modern society.
I’m grateful for my parents’ teamwork in raising me to treat all women with respect and courtesy. Mom and Dad instilled in me the idea that age was irrelevant. I have always made an effort to show extra consideration to older women, who also happen to be more likely to appreciate it in my experience. My treatment of the younger generation shouldn’t be different, even though they at times fail to recognize or even resent the respect shown to them. Consistent treatment is key; the gratitude of those who appreciate your efforts, and the inner satisfaction of doing right, supersedes any lack of recognition or criticism.
To this day, I automatically respond with “yes ma’am,” “no ma’am,” or simply “ma’am” as a greeting. When wearing a hat, I usually take it off or give it a brief tip. In my experience, “ma’am” is more prevalent in the South and Northwest, particularly associated with cowboy culture. This term isn’t widely used among the women I know from the northern and northeastern states. Raised without it by their fathers, they’ve occasionally given me funny glances. In today’s workplace, women are considered equal to men and often hold as many or more management positions, which can make this term seem derogatory to some. I can’t comprehend it; they’d view it as the ultimate sign of respect if they only knew. The lady’s less-than-receptive response, “Don’t call me ma’am, it makes me feel old,” is one example. I’m flabbergasted. Why has this respectful word become obsolete and unacceptable among women today? Typically, I playfully respond with “ma’am” – there I go again!That usually brings a laugh, so I keep doing it.
Get to the entrance first. Gentlemen, approaching a restaurant or shop door ahead if possible, if a woman of any age or background is present, is your responsibility. Perhaps you’ll reach the door together, or maybe they’re trailing you. But please, try your best to open the door if you need to! If others follow her, hold the door for them. Many will appreciate you; others will disregard you. Regardless, always respond with “you’re welcome” if thanked. Personally, I choose to respond similarly to those who disregard or fail to acknowledge me. You might get a dirty look from them on occasion, however.
Seeing men help their wives or girlfriends into their cars is something I’d like to see more of today. The passenger door should be opened for them after they walk to that side of the car. After verifying everyone is in, they should close the door gently. Then walk around and get into the vehicle yourself. The extra effort is worth the time and energy, I can’t think of a reason why it wouldn’t be. This shows her, however, that your top priority is her safety and comfort when you’re near your car. It’s unusual to see this nowadays. Why? I have to confess that I sometimes get too busy, sidetracked, etc. Though I forget at times, that feeling of forgetting is unsettling. This is incredibly important, and we must not let it be forgotten. Demonstrate to your beloved that her safety and well-being matter to you. Let everyone know this lady is special!
Many more areas need to be covered to properly understand this topic’s importance. This is for those interested in becoming true men. Although I strive to treat every woman with respect, honor, protection, and care, it demands daily attention.

A Man’s Word is His Contract

Growing up, I was taught to extend my hand when approaching and initiating conversation with men. I was taught the importance of a strong, firm handshake, a symbol of honesty and integrity. My dad’s hands were big and strong. As an adult, Dad always greeted me with a handshake, and sometimes a hug too. His hands enveloped mine, and his strength was instantly apparent. He possessed considerable strength, but it wasn’t overwhelming. Dad showed me how to adjust my handshake’s firmness based on the other person’s grip. I still greet men with a firm handshake, just as my father taught me. I find it amusing that so many men I’ve shaken hands with have complained that my handshake was too firm, even though I know it wasn’t. Many men today have weak handshakes, lacking the impact of those of previous generations.
Why am I talking about handshakes? Because many contracts were just that once! Two men discuss a deal or ask for something and shake. That handshake was as binding as any piece of paper with words and signatures. And once a deal or agreement was reached and you agreed to it, you kept your end of that deal or agreement! It might turn out to be harder than you expected, cost more, etc. But you sucked it up and completed the task as per the agreement.
In today’s business world, it appears that paper contracts are needed for almost everything. Lawyers frequently draft contracts in such an obscure way that almost everyone signs documents they don’t comprehend. Agreements are sometimes exploited by the unscrupulous who look for loopholes when they want to escape obligations. It’s regrettable that the business world, and indeed the world at large, now functions largely on contracts and non-disclosure agreements in order to have a decent conversation.
Business conversations are more preferable to writing for me, which I find frustrating. Work conversations about assignments and deadlines can be risky in today’s work environment. Eventually, they encounter a task that is unfinished or overdue. The usual “you didn’t say that,” “I don’t remember you saying that” responses arise. Email is now the primary method of business communication, offering a record of both explicit and implicit exchanges. Despite my daily existence here, I yearn for the past when a handshake marked the end of a simple visit between men.

I’ll conclude now, though many more pages could discuss how men should honor their ancestors by living according to their codes of conduct in today’s world. With this website, I hope to rekindle a flame in those who feel lost, reminding us of the foundational values that made this country exceptional and urging us to wholeheartedly adopt them once more.

I look forward to adding articles, some expanding on the ideas you’ve just read. I also plan to write about different facets of what seems to be a lost art—the art of truly masculine living. I’m eager to hear from you and welcome your comments. Please feel free to share your personal stories; I’d be happy to include them.

Keep it old school!
Blane